Saturday, July 25, 2009

Hear Ye! Don't Miss Great Malaysian Circus!

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Come one, come all, young and old! Every man, woman and child! Come witness the most amazing, the most astounding, the most mind-boggling, the most STUPENDOUS acts ever conceived by the minds of man on the face of this earth.

Brought to you for your viewing pleasure, exclusively by B&N Entertainment – the premier name in the-impossible-made-possible entertainment! We will make you laugh, we will make you cry. But most of all, we will make you want to tear out your hair and slap the shit out of somebody! That's the incredibly soul-shaking quality of our entertainment!

Witness amazing feats of contortion from our eminent performer – Lady Truth! Watch as she stretches and distorts into amazing proportions. We'll even tie her in knots she didn't know she was capable of with the help of our other performers - Captain MACC, Duke COPS, HC Judges, et al. See how they can make vital parts of her disappear and create new parts out of thin air! Be amazed at Lady Truth's resilience as she suffers all these incredible abuses under their masterful hands.

Captain MACC, Duke COPS, Lord Judges, et al will also assist their eminent seniors Prince Kerismudin, Prince Najibus and Arch Duke Mo'-hidin, to dazzle you with mind-boggling sleight-of-hand skills. Watch as they deflect attention from a case of possible murder and definite abuse of power by setting up a Royal Commission NOT to investigate! Then they appear to be set up an independent investigation whereas the magistrate is only a junior official dependent on the very people he is investigating to provide evidence! It is akin to the old 3-cups-and-a-pea game but on a much, much grander scale! Of course, we spare no expense when it comes yo your entertainment, especially when it is all going to come out of your pocket!

See our astounding collection of exotic freaks like the Dali-esque Toyol-man, who has the ability to present statements so surreal in their logic as to defy the sanity of ordinary Malaysians! Case in point: his 50,000 sq ft Bali-themed resort-like private residence which he claims cost a mere pittance of RM3million! He will demonstrate his surrealist logic by trying to convince you that the residence that was commissioned during his time as MB was only bought by him after making many, many millions in the months after he unexpectedly lost the Selangor state government. We advise you NOT to spend too much time near his enclosure for the sake of your own sanity!

Other freaks in our collection are the forked-tongued Rice Orphan, the half brained – Salak Sand, and the human ape – Bung. They will amaze you with their linguistic abilities. As you listen to them, you will realise that you understand every single word they are uttering, but taken together those exact same words make no sense whatsoever. Only the masters of ignorance can attain skills of this level.

And you will be astounded by our STUPENDOUS escape masters - Captain MACC, Duke COPS, Prince Najibus, et al. No lock and key can hold them! No logic can confine them. No laws can prevent them and no morals can defy them. Whatever can be conceived to hold them, they will be free! They can all literally get away with murder!

Yes indeed! Come on, come all! This is one show that the entire world is watching. It's in all the news! You do not want to be left out!

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