Who's The Stupid Ass Writing The RPK Manhunt Script?

This sandiwara is getting surreal. The way logic seems to twist and turn and fade in and out of our earthly dimensions is incredible. Consider this Dali-esque gems in the latest NST report "Cops zero in on RPK."

Our intelligence reports have confirmed that RPK is in London, but we have yet to confirm his exact location,” he (the IGP) said in an interview with the New Straits Times.

So the cops KNOW that RPK's in London but don't know where exactly. Fair enough. Now...HOW do they know he's in London? There are a few possibilities: the cops must have some knowledge of RPK's travel arrangements, or someone saw RPK there, or someone who knows RPK's whereabouts spilled the beans.

Let's look at them one by one and see if these scenarios can support the IGP's statement.

1) The cops know RPK's travel arrangements. That means they managed to trace how RPK got out of the country undetected by the Immigration Dept, which routes he took (which also means the cops know who the people helping RPK through those routes are) and finally where the trail ended - in London. The reason why the PDRM won't know RPK's exact whereabouts in London could be because RPK made his own arrangements after arriving in London.

However, there is a gaping hole in this story. If the trail ended in London and RPK makes his own arrangements from there, how can the IGP really confirm that RPK is in London? RPK could have caught a train and left London to go stay with his long-lost relatives in Wales!

So in this scenario, there is really no way for the IGP to CONFIRM that RPK is in London. Unless...

2) Someone saw RPK in London. Now, who would be able to see RPK in London and know how important it is to report it to the relevant people? It would have to be either anti-RPK Malaysian civilians or Malaysian agents in London looking for RPK. Now if it was a civilian who spotted RPK and was concerned enough to report the fugitive to the Malaysian Embassy, it would be logical to assume that the fella/s did not do a comprehensive surveillance on RPK's exact whereabouts, hence the uncertainty over his exact location. If that's the case, what's to stop RPK from catching a train to Wales and staying with his long-lost relatives?

So in this case, there really is no basis for the IGP to say that RPK is confirmed to be staying in London!

What if it was a Malaysian agent following RPK around? Then surely he would know RPK's exact location, wouldn't he! That would be his no. 1 priority. Doesn't make sense for the agent to spot RPK and let go of his quarry just like that! Surely the agent/s investigations would confirm RPK's exact location! So if it was an agent who located RPK, why can't the IGP confirm RPK's exact location?

Again, this theory is impossible to justify.

3) Someone spilled the beans on RPK's whereabouts. This is perhaps the theory with the highest possibility. The cops somehow got to someone very close to and trusted by RPK (must be la - fugitives don't reveal their whereabouts to just anyone, what) an the fella talked. But all they could get out of him/her was that RPK was in London. Now the cops have the relevant info at hand and they just need to follow up on that thread and they'll get their man.

But then again...if you are really closing in on a hunted fugitive, would you announce to the world that you kind of know roughly where he is, and that you are going to get him soon? So nice of the cops to give RPK the heads up so far ahead in advance, right? Give RPK plenty of time to make ascape arrangements!

But we Malaysians know better, right? If the cops really wanted to get someone, they're not going to announce it. They just show up with machine guns a balaclavas like in 1998. But well, you might say that RPK is in London, the Malaysian cops can't just do stuff like that over there.

So that's probably why the IGP dropped the next Dali-esque gem to try and cover up the gaping holes in the plot:

He said Malaysian police have sought the help of their British counterparts to bring Raja Petra back.

“The British courts might call for an inquiry and request the relevant documentation to support the extradition process before making a decision,” Musa said, adding that the police were also working with the Attorney-General’s Chambers in preparing the documents.

Hey, how stupid you think Malaysians are? You think we got no brains to think, ka? You think all of us are frogs living under coconut shells in the kampung and have never left the country before ka?

If RPK left the country with no Immigration records and still managed to get into the UK, it can only mean one thing: he used a fake passport. If so, there's no need to convince the UK police about all his Sedition charges here in Malaysia la. Just report his fake passport to the UK authorities - they'll put RPK on the next flight back to Malaysia already, no questions asked!

But this is Malaysia. Apparently here, the cops' job is not to find and arrest fugitives who pose a dangerous threat to the stability of the country. Their job is to offer friendly advice to such fugitives:

Musa also advised Raja Petra to return to Malaysia of his own accord. “If you’re not guilty then come back and defend yourself. Why should you hide in another country?"

The Malaysian Insider carries an even sillier quote by the IGP:

On the possible extradition of Raja Petra, Musa said the application would take time. "In fact, there is no need for (an extradition) order. He has to surrender,” he said.

Wahh...Musa Hasan so kind la. First give RPK a long heads up so that he can have plenty of time to prepare further escape plans, then take his own sweet time over the extradition process, now give him friendly advice to come home. Hey, isn't it urgent and of utmost importance to bring this lawbreaker home - if for nothing else but to maintain the dignity of the PDRM?!

Like I said, we seem to be living in one of Salvador Dali's landscapes these days. This is so surreal!